im just saying....

These are things I see on a daily basis and it makes me shake my head in utter confusion... so please....

-Dont pick your nose in the car because EVERYONE can see you no matter how much your windows are rolled up

-Dont wear socks with sandals and or MANdals

-Dont have pictures of yourself with all your goods hanging out and wonder why people make "rude " comments

-Dont drink out of a strangers fishbowl at Sharkeez

-Dont be platinum blond and not keep up your roots, its just looks like someone took a big dump in your hair

-Dont be a vegan and have a leather handbag and shoes

-Dont eat something and make the caca face and then ask me to try some

-Dont carry your dog in your purse

-Dont walk your dog in the mall and then look confused when it shits in the store

-Dont let your kids scream and cry and tune them out because I cant

-Dont sit in your car and reapply your make up make 10 phone calls and brush your hair when you see me behind you with my blinker on.

Im just saying.

"wide calf boots"

I often wonder if summer is my favorite season because its all about the open toe shoes and flip flops. If you opened my closet you would think I LOVE LOVE LOVE winter. I have tons of outerwear, sweaters, and hoodies. I wear jeans almost everyday and I love to be cozy. My true fashion nemesis is any boot that has to fit over my calf! I dont have fat legs I have often been told that I have skinny girl legs. Thank you my nameless BFF. So why cant I find a boot that fits over my calf! Who wants toothpick legs? Which by the way are the only kind of legs that can fit into boots. I can rock a an ankle boot! and if I had toothpick legs I could rock a knee/calf/thigh high boot too! Now I'm determined to find a "plus size" boot. My search leads me to every ugly flat sloppy boot. What the hell! Big girls love fashion just as much as the size 0! And I hate to say it, but the skinny girl is slowly becoming the minority. FAT GIRLS UNITE and DEMAND some cute boots. From what I have found online if you have muscular calves AKA wide calves your apparently only allowed to wear slouchy boots. A slouchy boot does not go with every outfit. A heel does magically take off 30 lbs! LOL So why would I wear a boot that makes me look squat and fat! I'm just saying... I want a sexy heeled boot that can fit over my damn calf that i can zip up, pull up and not have a fat leg roll spilling over the top! Does my leg look like it should be forced to wear a flat slouchy boot?

The day I found out I was FAT!

Have you ever come across an old skinny picture of yourself and said "Damn I looked good" and then looked in the mirror and wondered who was looking back at you? Like I said, I have self diagnosed myself with body dysmorphia (I think Im still skinny) until the day my skinny heel lost the battle. It was a sad sad day that I had to release my favorite heels back to skinny girl heaven. I was working at a hotel as the GM, as I was walking down the hall with my BFF and the devil(Im sure there will be stories about her later) walking the property to make sure nothing was going array. I was taking my last few steps down the carpeted hallway and I heard an epic SNAP... I took my next step and almost fell ass backwards. Why? you ask, because my entire heel snapped off and I was left with a broken shoe. At first I thought it was just a fluke maybe I had just worn these heel so much that I had worn them out. So the next day I took the shoes back to the Asian shoe store and exchanged them for a new pair. I was so elated. The next night as was Oktoberfest,beer, polish sausage,and the chicken dance what more could a girl ask for! As I got dresses in my German beer wench costume I pulled out the perfect heel and slipped them on my not so fat feet, or so I thought LOL We walked into Oktoberfest made out usual rounds and took tons of pictures. After posing for picture after picture I was starving and couldnt possibly leave Oktoberfest with out my polish sausage. As I walked towards the food area I heard an eerily familiar snap. Could it be that i bought another pair of faulty shoes? Or is the reality that I am SO fat that My skinny heel could no longer support my weight! Of course I still got my sausage, but as I sat at the long picnic style table enjoying the deliciousness of my polish sausage I realized I REALLY AM FAT!

summer time...the livin's easy..not so much for my fat neck

Soooo summer is right around the corner. WOO HOO I am so happy, summer time is my favorite time of the year. You would think because im NOT a size 2 that I would wish away the season all together. Summer time is the Best weight loss secret I have in my arsenal. I dont know what it is but the more i lay out the sun just melts my fat away. I get smaller and turn a beautiful bronze color =) Oh yeah! there is one thing that I struggle with every summer and that is my neck fat role. I dont know if any of you ladies have this problem but i practically have to lay out with my head hanging over the chair or else i get that white line across my throat. Its like a giant billboard that screams "hey Mr. Serial killer please wrap the rope in this area for optimal strangulation" or it says i eat way too much ice cream and the fat has no where else to go except around my throat in hopes the fat will choke myself and prevent me from eating LOL Im crossing my fingers that I will win the battle of the neck fat this summer =)